Silence is Golden: The Benefits of Secrecy & Being Selfish

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"Often times, we don’t realize that we can block our own blessings. Loose lips definitely sink ships. "

You can put a halt to a process before it even has the chance to start by speaking about it with the wrong people. Not everyone will be happy about your blessings and achievements. There are some that are angry and bitter about their own misfortune & failure and won’t dare speak life into the blessings you’ve received and are about to obtain.

What’s tricky about people like that is that you never really know who those people are until after you’ve already shared your plans and/or good news. It’s better to not speak about these things unless you’re 100% sure that the person you’re speaking with has your best intentions at heart, no matter their own situation and circumstance. Trust me, on this one. Any matter that concerns plans for your future will prove to be your best kept secrets.

Occasionally, you’ll run into that not-so-close friend that’ll give off vibes (or might even say outright) that you’re being selfish by being secretive. To that, I say “Well, tough shit. When it comes down to me protecting my blessings and trying to appeal to your emotions, I’m protecting my blessings.” If your friend can’t respect that, then that’s not a real friend.

The same goes for family. When they’ve asked, I’ve had to respectfully explain that I was guarding my prospective plan. I didn’t want to release and share it yet, and they respected it. If your friends and family can’t respect you wanting to guard your blessings, then they don’t deserve to know and they sure as hell don’t deserve to be around to watch you take in those blessings. In this sense, selfishness is necessary. If being selfish means protecting & bettering yourself, then so be it.

I realize that staying silent is easier said than done because, thanks to excitement and hope for the future, it’s natural for us to want to share our good news. There are a few things I do to keep my mouth shut:

1. I reflect on past mistakes. 

In the past, I’ve made the mistake of sharing my goals & plans with far too many people. While a majority of those people were congratulatory and sincerely wished me well, there were some that doubted me, my abilities, and the possibility of my goals coming to fruition. What was shocking, more than anything, was who the people were. I’m talking close family members whose opinions I’d valued sometimes more than my own. Their discouragement made me second guess my dreams and goals.

2. I consider my future.

With my past experience and considering how the words of others have affected my mindset, I consider my future. I consider how their subtle negativity has made me lose valuable time & opportunities, I remember how my trying to please them & their expectations and wants for my life have contributed to my depression, and I promise to myself that I’ll never let anyone sway me from my passion, blessings, and happiness.

3.I think about cooking. 

Hear me out. If you’re cooking up a dish and your taste buds are tingling, your mouth is watering, and you’re visualizing yourself eating your oh-so delicious end result. Then someone comes into the kitchen and gives you a little twist to put on your dish. You take their advice and add the twist. Then someone else does the same thing. And so on and so forth. That dish is going to be gross and it’s not going to be what you wanted it to be.

When you know what you want to do and have the concrete, legit steps to get it done, why would you add other people’s opinions to it? When all is said and done, you’ll be the one standing with the end results. Whether you like it or not depends on what you do leading up to the end. Either way, it all lies on your shoulders and the paths you take.

At the end of it all, what’s meant for you will be yours. What you do while on the journey to your finish line determines how quickly you can rest, relax, and enjoy your blessings or whether you’ll be clawing your way to the end. The choice is ultimately yours. Be careful of who you let into your head, be careful of who you let speak over your life, and be especially careful of who you surround yourself with. All of these things can either make or break you and your blessing.  

Comment below your favorite part of this article. Jewel dropped some gems in here.

This article was written by #SelfishBabe: Jewel

Jewel is a NYC native with a love for traveling, writing, and laughter. An HR Guru by day and writer by night, Jewel finds peace in sharing advice on educational & career choices, relationship woes, and greatest love of all: self love. 

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