IKYFL: I Know You Fucking Lying :Lemme Get You Together Real Quick
Ok. So, somebody tried it. I mean they tried your whole entire existence and now you’re ready to knock all this shit over..
I wholeheartedly believe in having the hard conversations. Everybody needs a good gathering every now and then. BUT, that doesn’t mean you always have to be the one to do it. I’ve found that nine times out of ten, a person’s response to you isn’t even about you. So, if you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself stressed and pressed about something that ain’t got shit to do with you.
Every misunderstanding doesn’t have to be a catastrophic event. You can absolutely let someone know where they had you fucked up without completely snatching edges.
(Well, maybe just tug on their wig a little bit. Lol!)
And here’s how...
Breathe. Take a beat. Center yourself.
2. Be honest...with yourself. Get clear on why you’re mad. What is your true motivation? Are you seeking revenge or peace? What is driving you - your ego or your heart? If it’s ego, reconsider. If it’s your heart, move forward in love.
3. Get your shit together. This is where it pays to stay ready so you don’t have to get ready. But if you’re not, it’s cool. Just make sure you know what you need to say. Notice I said ‘need.’ What we want to say and what needs to be said are sometimes two different things. Keep the end goal in mind (which I would hope is peaceful resolution). Petty ain’t pretty and being childish ain’t cute!
4. Have the conversation. Patience is key here because nobody really wants to hear about themselves. So, our first line of defense is denial and rejection. If that doesn’t work, we’ll claim ignorance. How many times have you heard, Well, I didn’t know you blah blah blah? I know, I know...There are some things you may feel like you shouldn’t have to tell people. But the truth is, those things can vary from person to person. So, the only way to be sure everybody is on the same page is to have those difficult conversations. So, next time a ninja tries it, tell ‘em. BUT FIRST, run through these keys right quick!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Say what needs to be said, when it needs to be said. Otherwise, let people have their stuff and go on about your business!
Are you leading with your ego? Or are you moving in love? Sound off in the comments below.
This article was written by #SelfishBabe Charleeta.
Charleeta is a certified storyteller, mindset coach, creative multi-hyphenate and selfishness expert who is fully committed to shits, giggles, and self-care shenanigans. She speaks, authors best selling books, hosts a podcast, and plays five instruments. Charleeta is one woman wearing many hats on a mission to help you heal yourself and crush your limiting beliefs so you can do what you want because you’re poppin’!
Facebook: Wellness In Black