Girl, Get Choosy. Your Energy is Sacred

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I knew I was doing something right when most questions I received from my core circle of friends went something like “Whatever happened to you and X?” and “You and X don’t fuck with each other any more?”

Man, when I tell you those two sentences were like music to my ears. I couldn’t wait to respond just so I could say, “Girl no, I had to cut him/her off.”

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I still haven’t forgiven most of the adults that were in my life as a child. In my opinion, they failed to adequately prepare me for the very real life lessons I would come to experience.

You know the simple things like how to balance a checkbook, or how to keep my credit score above 760, or how silence doesn’t mean submission, or (my personal favorite) how everyone is not worth my energy.

I’m going to say it again just in case you guys didn’t pick it up the first time, everyone is not worth your energy!

Not to get too scientific on y’all but I really need you babes to hear me when I say EVERYTHING is energy. It’s pretty much the first thing we learned in chemistry right? That energy is neither created, lost, nor destroyed, it’s merely transferred from one party to the next. Meaning the energy you put into the world doesn’t just disappear; it will be transferred to something or someone else and vice versa.

Therefore, it’s crucial that you learn the value of getting choosey with who you decide to share your energy with.

Once I truly understood that I had the power to say, “I’m choosing to not invest my energy in this situation or person (whether romantically or platonically)”, I understood what freedom felt like.

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We tend to be immediately against any situation that threatens our inner peace, sense of well-being, or general happiness.

But when it comes to people and accepting their bullshit—i.e. their opinions, judgments, wants/needs, etc. we tend to be a little more lenient,  making excuses as to why we allow their negative energy to infiltrate our space.

When in actuality, it’s no ones fault but our own.

You rolled out the red carpet and welcomed them into your space, whether done consciously or not--by being a listening ear or their shoulder to cry on. By being these things, you openly invited their energy into your life without realizing the damage it’s doing to your own energy field.

The good news: by being observant and intentional, you can now change that.


I want you to begin to consciously think about who you share your energy with.

I know, I’m not the first to say this but it’s beyond important to what I am about to say.

Your energy is synonymous to your life.

The energy you put out and take in is a reflection of the life you live. I don’t know about you, but life is too short so I only want to experience life with those who give off welcoming and uplifting energy.

Think about it like this: you and your energy are like the VIP section in a club. And of course, everybody prefers to be VIP.  

Why you ask? What you mean why?! VIP is lit! 😂😂When you're at a club or a party, those who are in VIP are there for one of two reasons: Either they can afford to be there or they know someone who invited them into that section.

You see where I’m going with this? Who you share you energy with is the same as who you invite to the VIP section.

You only want people there who are going to add to the vibe. You want those who are going to consistently exude positive energy.

If you want to your energy field to be a VIP space, you must be very choosy about what’s allowed inside and who is on the guest list.

You have to be your own bouncer.

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And y’all know bouncers do NOT play. They are quick to deny entry or to throw out anyone who’s not supposed to be there.

So as your energy field’s official bouncer, you can welcome guests who bring you peace, beauty, encouragement, calmness, love, and laughter. When that new friend you made or that cute man/woman you met at the grocery store looks like they’re gonna ruin your vibe, BLOCKDT.

Deny them entry into your energy field.

Now at every good party (because let’s be honest sis, you a good ass time 👅☺️) there will be someone trying to crash. And that’s perfectly fine.

If someone who is not welcomed to share in your energy manages to make it past security, find them, calmly toss them over your shoulder (not literally of course), and throw they ass out to the curb—Uncle Phil and Jazz style. The party must continue.

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When we choose to be selective about who we share our energy with, there will be dramatic changes in our overall well-being.

When you open yourself up to someone and share any portion of your energy with them (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.), you’re also opening yourself to absorbing the energy they vibrate into the world. If you’re constantly surrounded by people whose energy is draining more than it is replenishing, overtime you’ll begin to give off that same energy. Therefore, get to the root of the problem.

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You know what energy feels welcoming and beneficial to your overall well-being.

All it takes is regular attention to your energetic needs, intention of hearing what your energy is telling you, and a little practice. Your field will gradually become stronger and clearer, making it much easier to welcome the good and send the unwanted shit back.

Now go be great with your energy boo. I believe in you.

Comment your favorite part of the article? Are you mindful of the energy you keep? Ify wants us to protect our peace.

This article was written by #SelfishBabe Ify.


Ify is a born and raised NYC native with big dreams and an even bigger taste for creative writing, self-development, and pure happiness. Clinical oncology researcher and (future) MD by day and an avid traveler, wine connoisseur, and blogger by night. She just one girl hoping to inspire conversations on all things controversial, raw, honest, and meaningful.

IG: @ifeanyyii

Twitter: @sincerelyify