Ménage à Trois B*tch, Get Into It: The One Threesome We All Could Benefit From

Ménage à Trois B*tch, Get Into It.png

The best relationship comes in 3’s.

We often like to call that a ‘triad’, an ‘open’ relationship, a ‘menage a trois’, a ‘non-monogamous’ agreement between two or more people- but the relationship I’m referring to is the fluid connection between your mind, body, soul and spirit.

To take it deeper- as I was getting more involved in this relationship with self, I realized the significance of the number 3 when it comes to living my most peaceful life. For those who aren’t into angel numbers and numerology, the number 3 is symbolic of balance. It represents the trilogy: mind, body, spirit.

Of course when I found this out, I immediately applied this number to my life and came to the conclusion that I was taking care of my body, but my spirit and mind were not in sync with the direction I desired for my life. It was made very clear to me that all three parts needed to be in harmony for me to achieve the level of peace I wanted and for my battle with codependency and attachment to finally, lessen.

MIND, BODY, SOUL CONNECTION

I am a research junkie. So I went in on this ‘holistic’ body approach to healing and found that the mind, body, and spirit all work together in order to keep a ‘bih’ balanced. I’ve noticed if one is off- I am more prone to a shitty day, to self-comparison, or to negative self talk because I haven’t catered, nurtured, and exercised my spirit energy.

For everyone it may be different, but for me, I know my mind and spirit needed the most work. Having my share of relationships, I began to see the pattern within myself- I had a tendency to let outside opinions control the narrative I told myself because I wasn’t solid with who I was. I valued their voice over my own- and that was the biggest healing lesson. My mind was easy to infiltrate because I didn’t tend to me. I tended to everyone else. I love hard- so I loved everyone else more than I loved myself.


My favorite line was “I just have a big heart” which is all good and dandy, but that big heartedness belongs to me before it belongs to anyone else.

This outside validation from the ones I dated led me to become more self-conscious about how I moved and acted in certain situations (ie. the body) and we all know when you move in ways that are for other people- you compromise your spirit. Therefore, the whole mind, body, and soul connection is at best, a hot ass mess.

I was tired of this unhealthy ass cycle because the only outcome was more anxiety (that I didn’t need!), depressive periods (didn’t need that either!), and added stress (damn sure ain’t need that).

So fast forward to about a week ago, I finished taking this 30-day intensive program learning about the holistic body and how interconnected everything is. It confirmed a lot that I had already pre-educated myself about prior to the course, but there were

3 key takeaways that I reflected on that has truly helped solidify my mind, body, and spirit connection.

  1. Formulate a Self- Care Plan

    Okay! So ‘self-care’ has been a trending buzzword, HOWEVER, the type of self-care plan I’m talking about is much deeper than nail salons, nature walks in sports bras, and spending money on self dates. (Not knocking this at all because I do all of these things) BUT formulating a plan that exercises, caters, and nurtures all three: mind, body, soul. So for example: having 1 habit (not goal, because habits build lifestyle) that is strictly for the mind, strictly for the body, and strictly for the soul/spirit.
    A Sample:

    Mind- read 10 mins a day
    Body- take a 15 minute walk on my lunch break (no phone)
    Soul/Spirit- write a sentence of gratitude every morning

    Remember to make it something that FITS into your schedule without it overworking you.

  2. Identify Your Thought Loops

    A thought loop is a triggering thought that really just gets you tight and coiled. Reflect and write down what those are. We think in cycles that send a feeling to our bodies that affects the emotional connection with self. If you can begin to point out these thought loops, you’ll become more aware of when your thinking yourself into a bind. For me, when I felt this happening- I deadass started saying aloud “Do you really want to go through this loop right now”. Talking to/texting myself has really helped in combat. It allowed me to think logically about it, without dumping my immediate reactions onto someone else’s peace.

  3. Get Hooked on You.

    THIS IS WHERE WE EXPLORE- all the things you want to experience and wish to do with a significant other- take this opportunity to do them for yourself, with yourself. I had to start creating that independent relationship with myself and what helped was dressing up everyday. That probably sounds basic, but when I look good, I feel like I have more endurance for the day to come.

With consistency, these tools really served me well, whether I was maintaining my power or feeling the lows of life.

Of course there were days when I said “fuck all of this”-- when your back is against the wall, it’s easy to revert back to old ways- but this is an everyday, ongoing process. It’s an everyday, overcoming. It’s about acknowledging what you’re feeding your mind, how you’re treating your body, and nurturing your soul-- even if it’s just for 5 mins at a time.

Every moment strengthens.

Remember, as you get better so do the people around you because you radiate a higher frequency of self-love.

Are you in the best relationship with self? Comment below how you plan to get in-tuned.

This article was written by #SelfishBabe Thierra.

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Thierra Walker is a writer and artist based in Philadelphia, who centers her work around love, spirituality, and mental well-being for the transformative self. She is passionate about everyone finding their own form of happiness and achieving peace within self. Her ultimate goal through her writing is to “be the person she needed, and what she needed to hear”.

Website: https://www.thierrawalker.com/

IG: @ThierraW