Get F*cking Honest With Yourself: How To Make The Most Change

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As we all know, change is inevitable. Things change every minute of everyday and every moment of each instance. It’s our most constant friend to better ourselves.


However, how many times have we said to ourselves:
“I can’t wait for this to change?”
“I wish this would change.”
“I can’t do this anymore, I need this to change!”

Just because you reflect on these questions and may feel open to change, doesn’t mean you are ready to do the work.

‘Doing the work’ is romanticized under the word “self-care” but really showing up for yourself in those moments of turbulent change is the true practice of self-care.

We can fantasize about the things we want to change and visualize how great it’ll be for us- but positive change requires continuous work and the upkeep of such is where self accountability is often required.

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One thing I always say is “shadow work is where the light beams” meaning most of your transformative moments come when you begin to correct your own negative behaviors.

Your shadow side consists of the parts of you you would rather not look at or embrace, such as greed, being jealous, petty and more. You know, you’re bitchy side, the side you would rather not show people.

Learning to both correct and check myself on why I allow the actions of others to trigger me is and will always be my biggest bloom. Being honest with myself no matter how petty the reason was that got me in my feelings, is what liberates me into higher self awareness.

Leaning into those feelings to understand how I can react differently instead of ignoring them and choosing to show up for myself in healthier ways will always yield positive for me.

For me, it’s hard to cry over certain bullshit these days because my mind is constantly circling  back to me and what my needs are.

This allows me to remove the blame from other people and shift my movements accordingly.

This reflects back to self accountability and being aware that everything I need to change is always within focus.

However, I do have days where my first reaction is to just project my emotions because ‘doing the work’ is hard shit ya’ll and it’s ugly sometimes.

It’s not easy to always be in the mindset of pushing yourself past what is habitual, when your muscle memory isn’t set to a default for that type of change; but know that you are more than capable!

Holding yourself responsible for the changes you want to see in life is a hard practice. However, one thing to remember is to never be too hard on yourself in the process. This is where self-compassion comes in. Condemning your learning curves steals wisdom and growth from the overall experience.

Be okay with not having it all together.

How are you holding yourself accountable #SelfishBabe? Comment below your favorite part of the article. Thierra wants us to ‘do the work’.

This article was written by #SelfishBabe Thierra.


Thierra Walker is a writer and artist based in Philadelphia, who centers her work around love, spirituality, and mental well-being for the transformative self. She is passionate about everyone finding their own form of happiness and achieving peace within self. Her ultimate goal through her writing is to “be the person she needed, and what she needed to hear”.


IG: @ThierraW