Signs To Cut Them Off Before They Cut You Down


It’s no secret that women are strong. For goodness sake, you are the living & breathing vision of Mother Earth.

You are the caretakers, feeders, providers, moneymakers, builders, and anchors of this society and, ironically, your silent pleas for a break are viewed as weakness. On top of all that you already do, some people think it’s okay to depend you for everything (people that aren’t your children), that it's okay to cheat on you, okay to mistreat you, okay to pay you less than men and STILL  think you’re going to hold it all down. These expectations that others place on us served as an unrealistic weight that I was carrying...

Between relationship issues, bouts with my family, and stress from work, I felt like I was drowning. I never doubted my ability to move forward but meditation, sleep, and personal time didn’t help. I began second-guessing myself and my ability to bounce back from such a harsh time period because, while I acknowledged my strength, I felt like I was being given boulders to carry while I was struggling with the pebbles I already had.

It took me a while to get from underneath all of that weight. It took a lot longer than I had wanted but, apparently, time is necessary in the plan for perfection. My stressors (situations and people, alike) made me put my needs, my wants, and, more importantly, who I actually am as a person on the back-burner. Eventually I realized this and realized that some people were going to need to be cut out of my life in order for me to get back to me. 

Before actually cutting people out of my life, I had  3 revelations that happened to help me make this move. Read them below to see if you need to make the same move and cut out who needs to be cut from your life. 

1.I took a good look in the mirror. – The phrase ‘The eyes are the windows to the soul’ proved itself true when my aunt stared me straight in the eyes and asked, “Where is my Jewel?” It struck me because it made me realize that I’d become so engulfed in nonsense that I wasn’t even myself anymore. Not long after that, I stood in front of the mirror, stared at myself, and didn’t like what I saw. It wasn’t necessarily my physical appearance that was unrecognizable but I really tried to see my personality, again. My joy, my silliness, my carefree & lighthearted self… it was all gone. I didn’t like what I saw, realized what contributed to it, and started getting rid of the things that made me the way I was.

2. I started to physically feel the stress. – It’s been proven that stress can take a toll on your body. Stress from work, your family, finances, etc. If you allow it to go too far, it can start to show & you’ll definitely start feeling it. When I encountered stress, at that time, I’d feel a heaviness in my chest, my heart rate would pick up, and I’d start to feel like I’d just completed a 5-mile run. It was, literally, exhausting. I felt absolutely awful and knew I had to change it.We all have a time to die but I’ll be damned if I die by stress from some person.


3. I realized that I needed to love myself more than I love anyone else. – As a mom, this may come across as selfish but it’s necessary. Here’s why: If I don’t take care of my mental health, I won’t be able to take care of my children or help anyone else. If I don’t take care of my physical health, I might not be alive long enough to see my children grow or be there for any of my family & friends. If I don’t take my VERY necessary Me-Time, I won’t be myself and, trust me, nobody wants to experience that. You get what I’m saying, here? You have to love yourself enough to realize that loving other people doesn’t equate to self-love. If you have to leave a relationship to become a better you or to get back to who you once were, then do it. You came into this world alone and you’ll leave this world alone. Might as well leave it happily.

No person is worth your peace of mind and/or life. It’s just not worth it. You deserve better and in order to get better you must remove who is no longer serving in your best interest to create room for those who can.

Comment below your favorite part of this article. Jewel dropped some gems in here.

This article was written by #SelfishBabe: Jewel

Jewel is a NYC native with a love for traveling, writing, and laughter. An HR Guru by day and writer by night, Jewel finds peace in sharing advice on educational & career choices, relationship woes, and greatest love of all: self love. 

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