You're the Plug: Never Go After Happiness If The Source Is Not You

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Often, we feel like happiness can only be achieved when everything is perfect.

I know for myself, as someone who battles with anxiety and depression, if I allow my thoughts to run undisciplined, happiness feels like an ongoing quest. For the longest time, I felt happiness was only achieved in the absence of pain, hurt, and disappointments - so I tried to achieve joy instead.

I was trying to “do” things that would only provide me a momentary high, instead of searching for the root of my unfulfillment.

This is when I realized there are 2 types of happy in this world: those who do happy and those who are happy with their whole being.

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As someone who straddles the line between the happiness of instant gratification and the longing of true satisfaction, the most significant difference I’ve found within myself is the sense of harmony.

When I am truly happy, I am aware, present, and grateful for both the good and the indifferent (since nothing is ever “bad” because it helps us to grow in the end). This helps me to:

  • Be aware of my blessings more so than what I lack.

  • Be present in this moment, knowing that I am in good health because I am alive and breathing and that having life is the biggest reason to ever be happy.

  • Be in a state of gratitude for the moments that show me how fortunate I truly am.

When I find myself spending money on materialistic possessions like clothes and items for my physical appearance instead of tending to my spiritual and intellectual values, I know I need to start looking within for my own happiness, instead of relying on external influences like people, places, and disposables.

In the simplest way I can explain:

Happiness is doing the best you can, with what you have and where you are.

Ask yourself, “Am I being grateful for all the good that has happened in my life thus far or am I too caught up in the wrong that is happening right now?”

True happiness starts with you. I know it sounds cliché’ as fuck, but it is 110% accurate.

It is not found through destination goals: being in a place where we feel mirrors ultimate success or relationship goals but being the place where peace can flow into easily despite any unfilled goals, your to-do list, how much you possess, or relationship status.

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When you can attain that harmony by practicing your way into alignment with yourself, a constant pouring of joy becomes you without having to chase it.


You should never chase happiness.

I know the saying goes “Never chase a woman. Never chase a man”, but what they really mean is:

Never go after happiness if the source is NOT you.

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Learn to go after yourself and become more in tune with who you are because that is the only way to your ultimate paradise.

You Got This.

Comment below how you plan on going after your own happiness!

This article was written by #SelfishBabe: Thierra

Thierra Walker is a writer and artist based in Philadelphia, who centers her work around love, spirituality, and mental well-being for the transformative self. She is passionate about everyone finding their own form of happiness and achieving peace within self. Her ultimate goal through her writing is to “be the person she needed, and what she needed to hear”.


IG: @ThierraW

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