A B*tch is Lonely:How To Cope
Loneliness: we’ve all felt it at one point, or are still feeling it, and we all find ways to escape from it, because we’re conditioned to see it as something that completely sucks.
But really what sucks is our perspective on it because loneliness can actually be one of the best things to happen to you.
Until you spend some time with YOU, and really get to know yourself on every level, the feeling of loneliness will predominantly feel pretty shitty. But the longest and most important relationship you will ever have with anyone is with yourself, so make it the most fulfilling and satisfying one.
Being an only child with an unstable family life, I was fortunate enough to experience various forms of loneliness throughout my childhood and early twenties.
I say fortunate because it was here I learned some of my most important lessons. The first being awareness of my emotional state. As I grew older I noticed a pattern within the many addictions I myself had developed to “cope” with this loneliness.
Some included substance abuse, shopping addiction, and addiction to food. Now the problem here is, what I was facing is seen as quite the norm in our society. Feeling sad? “Buy something nice and treat yourself girl! "
Down about something? “Here, have this to eat, it will make you feel good.”
Drink this, smoke that, and the list goes on.
Now here’s the thing: a treat is GREAT (and should be because you deserve it - keep loving yourself girl!), but where do we draw the line?
Our standard of living literally teaches us to not only avoid and escape from loneliness, but prevent it entirely.
You’ll see numerous people in unhappy relationships, those of us who have people pleasing habits, the workaholic, the gymaholic, and let’s not forget the Instagram-obsessed who just HAVE to post their latest meal/holiday/selfie.
All of the obsessions I’ve mentioned above, including those of my own, all had one thing in common.
They all bring some form of validation to the user.
Validation is important and it goes back to the sense of feeling safe, loved, and secure within oneself.
In this day and age, most of us seek this validation externally as a way to not feel lonely..
But what if loneliness was no longer the issue?
We would no longer need the validation from our likes and followers, from the hours at the gym or workplace. Relationships would be far more harmonious and peace wouldn’t feel so unattainable. We’d stop destroying our bodies and minds over what might enhance our lives, and start focusing on the things that REALLY fulfill us.
Below are 3 ways I’ve found to help me cope with loneliness:
1.Pure and complete acceptance and love of ourselves, which also includes fully accepting the feeling of being lonely.
And it also sounds like the most difficult job in the universe. However, when you really look at it, complete acceptance is actually the absence of judgment.
When you don’t judge yourself for feeling lonely and you give yourself the permission to completely feel the way you feel, you then develop a sense of compassion towards yourself
Which eventually allows you to tap into the love you’ve been craving from yourself.
Think of how you would treat a small child whom you loved if you knew they were feeling lonely and unloved. Now treat yourself that way.
2.Delving outside of your comfort zone, which is much easier once you start to find complete love and acceptance for yourself.
Once there is no judgment from yourself towards yourself, your fear of setbacks and failure will not hold power over you, and you’ll be open to new experiences. And who knows what you could find!
3.Loneliness comes from the idea of lack, and of there not being enough. This belief must be challenged and eliminated.
This is probably the most important.
Until you realize you are more than enough, and that there is more than enough abundance in the universe, loneliness will always play as a powerful factor.
This ultimately comes to how much faith you are willing to have in yourself and in the universe.
Trusting that regardless of what you have or do not have, you will always be worthy and deserving of unconditional love and abundance.
The need to validate yourself externally will no longer be of importance to you, because you’ll know you have everything you need inside yourself.
And what an absolutely wonderful gift to share not only with yourself, but with the rest of the world.
Comment below your favorite line that gave you a different perspective. Rasna dropped some serious truth here!
This article was written by #SelfishBabe: Rasna
Rasna creates her art with her words through poetry, prose and blogging. A lover of music and bohemian prints, her continuous journey of wanderlust and self-love leads her closer to just what she’s searching for – herself.
You can follow her on Instagram: @Rasna17