I’m Good Luv, Enjoy: 5 Tips to Enjoy Being Single in Your 20s
I have started a new mantra and I hope it speaks to you as much as it does to me. Repeat after me, “I’m single by CHOICE, get the fuck over it.”
Your turn. “I’m single by CHOICE, get the fuck over it.”
Didn’t that feel great? It sure did for me.
A lot of people [think they] don’t like the reality of being single in their 20s, especially when they receive unsolicited pressure from friends, family, social media, hell maybe even yourself to be in a long-term and fruitful relationship that should eventually lead to marriage. Trust me sweetie, I 1000% understand because I’ve been there.
I was in a serious relationship from age 19-23; however, walking away from that relationship and learning how to love being single in the latter half of my 20s has been the hardest, most emotionally rich, and spiritually uplifting journey thus far.
Now that’s not to say it was/is an easy journey, absolutely not. But it’s definitely a rewarding one. So as your unofficial and unrequested fairy God-mother, I want to share some of my secrets and methods I used to get to a good place with myself and my singleness.
Here are my 5 tips:
Tip #1: Accept your current self.
I don’t care who lied to you in the past but babe, I’m here to let you know barely any of us have our shit together, especially in our 20s. This is the time we’re meant to get our life together to the best of our abilities. Meaning, invest time in yourself.
You are beautifully complex, with so much to learn and figure out about yourself. In order for this to happen, you need solitude. The goal is to wholeheartedly commit to yourself, before committing to someone else. Moral of the story: being single to create the best you is the first step to being your best self for someone else.
Tip #2: Develop multiple relationships.
Now, I didn’t say go out and THOT and bop (but if that’s your prerogative, I ain’t mad at ya. I’ll be rooting for you).
What this really means is go out, meet new people, and make new connections. Not all relationships are romantic ones nor are they meant to last forever. Sometimes they are meant to teach you something about yourself and that’s it. Moral of the story: get out here boo! Keep adding people to your contact list.
Tip #3: Reaffirm your strength and energy.
This is my personal fav because through this step, I learned to become self-reliant. One of the benefits of being in a relationship is when you are having a rough day or going through a difficult season, there is someone there to carry the weight while you get back to “normal.” But what happens when that person, that source of energy is removed?
I had to learn the difference between seeking and receiving support when I’m down versus relying on someone for my energy and happiness.
Moral of the story: being single forces you to constantly remind yourself of your strength. It forces you to pull yourself up because no one if going to do it for you. You learn to tap into and restore when depleted your self-generated energy. Remind yourself how strong you are and that you’re capable of healing and finding joy again.
Tip #4: Take risk!
Another valuable lesson I learned. During my relationship, I became personally stagnant. I refused to take any risk that may put a strain on my relationship. Which as you can imagine was detrimental to my personal development.
Being single has opened more doors for me than ever before. So I have the same suggestion for you! Moral of the story: take risk in whatever you want to do. Whether it’s taking a new job, relocating to a new city/country, starting a business, going back to school, or just leveling up to being ‘that bitch,’ take that risk and don’t look back. Ain’t shit back there.
Tip #5: Enjoy!
Sis, you are beautiful, powerful, and wonderful! So enjoy that to the fullest! Enjoy having the freedom and responsibility that comes with not having to answer to anyone.
Want a new piercing? Get it! A tattoo? Do it! Dying to check out that new club downtown? Put of your freakum’ dress and go apeshit with ya girls! Wondering what your neighbor in apartment 3B looks like shirtless? Need I say it? You better knock on that man’s/women’s door and invite yourself in!
Moral of the story: Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! This is the time to do whatever you want, whenever you want! Don’t let anyone force you into think you are not sufficient single.
If they try it…repeat after me: “I’m single by CHOICE, get the fuck over it.”
Comment below your favorite part of this article. Ify dropped some goodies in here.
This article was written by #SelfishBabe: Ify
Bio: Ify is a born and raised NYC native with big dreams and an even bigger taste for creative writing, self-development, and pure happiness. Clinical oncology researcher and (future) MD by day and an avid traveler, wine connoisseur, and blogger by night. She just one girl hoping to inspire conversations on all things controversial, raw, honest, and meaningful.
Add her on Instagram: @ifeanyyii
Add her on Twitter Twitter: @sincerelyify
Visit her Website: sincerelyify.com